Fixation.

You’ll see me use the word creative so often. 

For I look to find the ways in which to be uninterrupted, creatively uninterrupted. 
I do not know what you may think of this constant need to go on and on and on about something I seem to have already bored you with enough. This must be tiring. Utterly repetitive. Why must I knock a door, the same door, so frequently?  What is wrong with me? What is wrong with YOU for bearing this sort of loony behaviour?

The limitless mind left limited.

Oh God.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

tell me,

what is your fixation? 

-Rizwana

p.s.  this post was not an excuse for sherlock gifs. i promise.

Creative Folks: Making The Networks.

Heya folks. Ok, I do wish there was a more sophisticated way of beginning these posts, something charismatic ya know? Like the subtlest of head nods and the hip-est of eye winks (eye winks? really?! finished school and all but here I am with preposterous language skillz. nice. ?) Alas, I have failed you and we shall continue, deprived of all the charisma and candy in the world.

big wow.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, I’ve been thinking/noticing/staring-at-the-wall for a couple of days. Not continuously, duh. Figuratively. You know when you’re¬†a noob and you spend so long reading about the thing you’re interested in or want to pursue? Like, for me, this whole blogging adventure to be precise. I like to pretend to be thoughtful and read/research on ways to improve or find those hidden industry secrets from acclaimed people on the internet. So to understand what those successful fellas did or didn’t do to make it as far as they have or had and try to take inspiration from their respective journeys.

Obviously, we’re lucky to be living in a world where all these stories of success and progress¬†are so readily available. You don’t have to pluck a bird’s feather, get that high level bird-feather ink and sit under¬†lantern light to finally write something, in hopes of¬†getting¬†it shipped to that one posh library in Oxford or wherever posh¬†libraries used to exist. Nah, we got our Reddits and our Facebooks and our Youtubes and our WordPresses and so on, just endless, empty library shelves¬†floating around in Space 24/7. How sick is that?!

But what I think hasn’t changed is the idea of making the right networks, the need of connections. I, as an aspiring creative, am accustomed to dealing with the creative aspect of this blog (i.e. post planning, writing, rewriting, designing, color picking etc.) on a fairly regular basis. That’s all pretty normal. Yet what isn’t as normal is having to deal with the social a.k.a business aspect of things. Marketing your creativity for the masses. THAT is hardcore stuff.

sed lyfe.And let’s be honest here: I’m not that great at it. I mean, I try to publicise my blog as often as possible without sounding obnoxious but it’s still pretty much uncharted waters. Some¬†people seem to have the business self¬†in them oh-so-naturally, that you severely begin to criticise your not-exactly-introverted-but-still-mostly-shy behaviour. It only gets worse when you assess¬†all these awesome creatives online, be it writers or photographers or youtubers or others, and you start to see this pattern where¬†they were able to use the right sort of network or contact or even friendship,¬†as a¬†springboard¬†for a much greater outreach.

Of course, that’s not to say it WASN’T¬†because of their creative efforts, the time spent planning, writing, editing and all, the importance of those tasks can’t and shouldn’t be diminished, BUT the fact that they had that extra level of support can’t be ignored either. (I mean, living in Saudi Arabia..there¬†really aren’t¬†a whole lot of options when it comes to finding that¬†creative crew of humans which means you seek out and truly¬†treasure people¬†or¬†opportunities¬†you may find! Hmm, perhaps it’s actually¬†a blessing in¬†disguise eh?¬†?¬†)

All in all, I’m immensely¬†grateful¬†to the online connections.¬†Will¬†try not to sound too campy..but the greatest aspect¬†of the World Wide Web¬†is just how easy it is to not feel alone. To find those like-minded people. To realise that no matter how shy or introverted or weird you may be,¬†out-there, somewhere, ARE actual living human beings who can look you in the eye and you’d know…

they understand you.

feelz.

And honestly,¬†that’s worth more than it seems.

-Rizwana

p.s. thank you for understanding. always.

Bliss.

There is no comfort, no regularity in going after the spectacular again and again and again. There is always a feeling, hypnotic even, enough to making me want to strive for that spectacular something with no knowledge of what it actually is. Tiring? It can be. Like you’re always moving and walking and yes, running, to somewhere and that somewhere just seems like both a step and miles away, altogether. And you think, how am I to know? There is no guide, not even a friend. Just you and this screaming sensation, like a promise telling you you’ll reach there, that somewhere. A promise you make unknowingly and break just as soon but keep coming back to, knowing you were meant to. Believing something for a somewhere. Blinded so boldly, I proclaim it my passion.

The life of roamer, craver for the creative. 

Endless effort and bliss.

-Rizwana

On Blogging.

I’ve been trying to publicise¬†my blog a lot more, ever since I’ve moved to this self-hosted place and there’s something I’ve noticed that I did not notice¬†as much before..?¬†And let me say in advance, I don’t mean to offend anybody. I’m just trying to collect my thoughts based on an observation.

i promise.So it’s these ‘boxes’¬†that most blogs fall into. Ya know the typical trend where numerous gals blog¬†on makeup/lifestyle and the dudes post stuff related to¬†tech news and similar. Now, obviously, I’m totally OKAY with that, in fact these people are writing stuff¬†they’re passionate about and I, not only completely support their efforts, but I think it’s great that they’ve the courage and determination¬†to¬†do so.

It’s just that when you’re not doing what a large portion of the public seems to be doing and is interested in, you feel kinda left out ya know? Which¬†is absurd, I agree. But I don’t know¬†why I still feel like I’m not catering to what the people want to be reading and perhaps, that does sound like a good thing..certainly falls¬†under the timeless advice of ‘be unique’. Yet, I think you end up feeling awfully alone and unsure of yourself. I don’t want to be writing on the mainstream topics just for the sake of it,¬†nor do I want to be dishonest to myself and play pretend to find the community/readership/friends.

To be honest, another aspect of this is when you search of ways to gain a larger audience, there are¬†so many online guides telling you directly/indirectly to write cookie-cutter articles like¬†“top 50 things¬†you might not even care about but will still click to read because we have got¬†the real marketing skillz”. Come on, I can’t be the only one who notices this, right? right?!¬†

for real..?

Nonetheless,¬†I know for a fact¬†that my content, too,¬†is anything but unique. Of course,¬†we’re all inspired by one thing or another and there will always be similarities overshadowed by the capability¬†that¬†creativity holds, wherein¬†each¬†person’s perspective¬†is a key to a combination¬†of their self and their work, which can never,¬†truly,¬†be replicated. So for anyone who’s¬†felt what I’m feeling, I just want to reiterate the importance of staying true to yourself. No matter¬†if you feel like you’re in a box with 2, 902 or 539402 other people¬†(side note: staying confined to only that box is your personal decision but a trip outside comfort zone can be super nice):

honesty does go a long way.

(& remember: if put your soul in your work then much like the boy who lived, the world will find you)

teehee.

-Rizwana

Announcing My Next Step: “STORY OF PROGRESSION”

It’s here.¬†

11031743_10206189342562121_97464379_nAghhh I don’t even know where to start! ūüėÄ

So yes, it’s called Story of Progressionand it’s the LONGEST project that I’m committing myself to. SoP (because yes, I adore abbreviations..) consists of me DRAWING¬†everyday for 356 days. Yep, that’s like an entire¬†YEAR. *yikes*

[I’ve made a facebook page for putting up the drawings. Also, a tumblr in case you’re not on¬†facebook. Links will be in the sidebar. So don’t worry..ToW will still be mostly words! ūüôā ]

You might be wondering “why?”..Like why even the prospect of “drawing” when I’ve introduced¬†myself to the internet as a writer and reader but never a draw-er (ahem for the lack of a better word..). But that’s EXACTLY the reason why I want to do it.

As a child, I did like to draw. That’s not to mean the usual phase where toddlers and crayons are inseparable, but like really really liked to draw up until a few years back. Eventually though, I kind of just started to ignore drawing, sometimes blaming my lack or art supplies or postponing incomplete drawings for when I’m more “ready”.

It was during this time that I started notice how much I loved to write.

I’m definitely glad that I did but you know, it does¬†feel like I somehow betrayed¬†my initial creative calling and eventually I¬†couldn’t even hear it at all. And I’m willing to change that.

I’m willing to listen.

Right now, thinking about this all, I am a 100%¬†worried about how well I’ll be able to juggle between writing and drawing (oh and yeah that studying bit too! ūüėõ ), it’s very easy to just forget¬†it and go back to an easier (and mundane)¬†lifestyle with no creative responsibilities.

Yet where’s the fun in that?

I know that hardships are inevitable and there will be MANY times that I’ll doubt ever thinking I was capable. And most surely many days, there may seem that NO¬†time can be found for such a difficult task.

Still, despair too, has its limits.  

 

I set to¬†prove that creativity is achievable, even in the most average of ways. It doesn’t have to be grand or perfect, it just has there.¬†

 

-Toto
ūüôā

 

 

Creativity: I’m Working On It.

I’ve¬†always¬†found comfort in creativity.

And that’s what I’ve been thinking about for while now.

You know how deep within,¬†you kind of realize what you want to be doing? Call it your¬†calling or whatever, your whole inner self gets these “homely feels” and you can’t stop walking towards it. Like your brain cells fidgeting together¬†in hopes that you achieve that “something”.

It’s a very mysterious kind of hypnotism.

And I’ve felt that a lot of times with varying degrees of agitation and desire. Obviously,¬†the strongest of such a feeling that I felt struck me in the most profoundest way, was the desire to not necessarily be a writer but to seek shelter in words; to learn the art of mesmerization by¬†26¬†alphabets placed in the right order, to see how a bunch of¬†shapes can change perspectives and understandings.

To commit to figuring out people, with all their remarkable ideas intact, through the medium of words.

I’ve realized that once you agree to your fidgeting brain cells, you begin¬†to pick up signs of the hypnotism¬†happening again and¬†again. But this time you know the drill, you’ve honed your skills and you’re more ready to be accepting of it. And that’s where I think, creativity does wonders.¬†

For me, this little blog was the¬†first time ever I¬†fully listened to my creative self and it’s comforting to know that I did.

However,¬†the truth unravels when for a moment you think more deeply¬†about your creative calling. And I’m not astounded by the number of times that I’ve listened to it but by a simple question of,¬†“how many times has it went unheard?”.

 

Sorry to say, I have no answer.

But I’m working on it.¬†

 

-Toto

P.S. Few more days and you’ll see.¬†

The Bumper Stickers of Certification

11119747-human-brain-intelligence-grunge-machine-medical-symbol-with-old-texture-made-of-cogs-and-gears-repre

I suppose we humans have a weird converter fitted in our brains that works unpredictably. A converter that can do wonders OR just grind your gears like a worn out machine that refuses to die. The converter that converts mere electrical impulses, running faster than the Flash, to human understandable tiny, magical shapes we call “words”.

That to me is what any sort of writing, or even creativity in its entireness, is all about. Simply getting your converter to do its job as beautifully as possible.

Conversion is what matters

After all we’re all bubbling with genius things within our brains yet only a few can get the world to witness it with them.

This is where inspiration comes in. You see, inspiration is like a gym trainer that gets this shabby converter into shape and in doing so leaves its imprint, certifying it ready for conversion.

And perhaps when you access your converter and look deeply enough, you might just spot the bumper sticker(s) of certification stuck to the foundations as well as an open entrance to a gym, forever in service for when you need it.

-Toto