Them and Me.

I write these words, hoping to have a therapeutic transaction between us. Them and me. Them‚ÄĒthe words‚ÄĒto go away, and me: to move a step closer to more steps ahead. I tell myself, “I write for myself.” Yet these steps are a never-ending stretch of fatigue and the thought of you reading this, quickens my pace. So is the work of those¬†enthralled¬†with words…or so I hope.

-Toto

limitless combinations.

I look at a bustling street to realise:

never will
the same people be
at the same place
as once.


and I
can’t help but wonder:

isn’t this telling of
the lives we’re living?

a few steps here or
a few steps there
and my life is a new life
and your life, too,

changes?

-Toto

p.s. wrote that last night. just random stuff.
oh & last exam left. back to frequent blog posts soon!
ūüôā ¬†

Wistful.

everywhere
you go, won’t be
what is no longer
and yet every time
you try to find that
lost
home,
never will 
something,
feel dearer. 
For what
ensues 
the ache
is worth

everything.

-Toto

A Grade Talk.

Hi. How you doing? Hope you’re feeling awesome. ‚Ěď

So I’ve began to write not knowing what to write, and instead depending on this teeny notion¬†that perhaps a good ol’ blabber session would seem something like you’d be more than happy to read.¬†Shall I presume I am right in this belief remains, yet, to be seen. Teehee. ūüôĄ

Anyway. I know I haven’t write in a while and I know I say that every time like it’s become an un-offical official intro but I really shouldn’t be letting this bond between punctual¬†posts and me break into sad, unfixable pieces. It isn’t right and I’m responsible but I’m also set to give some insanely hectic A Level exams in about a month and just looking at the date right now gave me goosebumps. Thus, you¬†can imagine my lack of presence on SoP, I hope.

On the matter of what’s new, I’ve had some recent rethinking on the importance of grades and as a result, frustrations of the typical education system(s) that are more like conveyor belts through hell. And I don’t mean to whine like this is the¬†number 1 issue we face because oh God, the world’s got an entire plater of problems as it is but, eh, can’t help thinking!

Seriously though, the¬†idea¬†of “results define your future” is intended as a great¬†way¬†to encourage you but instead, it ends up¬†doing more damage due to the way society tends to heighten¬†it beyond belief.¬†I mean, there is nothing wrong in trying to do (and be) the best in whatever it is you set out to do and in fact, you SHOULD be doing just that¬†no matter if it is obliged or expected from you. I don’t mind that, AT ALL.

What I do mind is just the intensity with which I personally have spent the last, say, 8 months of my life feeling as though I am on a ladder, continuously climbing and climbing to a place I am told will open the doors to my¬†future. And so, this sort of smudges the good intention of “just trying your best”, in favour of highlighting the tension and chaos and exhaustion that comes with wanting to have the “best grades”. You just phase out into this state¬†of fixating your future and happiness ONLY¬†to a bunch of alphabets and that shouldn’t be the case. You shouldn’t have to depend on a piece of paper to validate your worth or even have the world be eager¬†enough to¬†equate it directly to¬†YOU, as a person.

Surely, no system of “education” would be considered “educational” were it to preach such values, would it?

 

And remember:

Too much of anything is good for nothing.

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Until next time,
Toto
ūüėé

Later.

later,
there were
glimpses
of how
you broke,
cemented
long enough
for it to begin
to sting. 

i live casually,
a casualty.
 
no matter;
there was
a need for
this to be
peaceful,

of course.

-Toto

( p.s. on a weirdly-timed vacation atm..hope to have more (non-poetry) posts soon! ^^’ )

Nightscape.

^source

merry go round.
there are places to be
and the night drags on
till we are much too tired
for being anyplace but here
and now, listen to the hum of

this ride remain, ever-long.
for there are places to be
and perhaps, 

no dawn.

-Toto

Best/Worst

The best of surprises are people.

When you are given a reason not to despair for they‚Äôre there to be around you, now and perhaps for how ever long forever lasts. You are known by them and together, you, all of you, are as though no other. As if the word ‚Äúbelong‚ÄĚ could only be defined on that day, when you and them, defined what it meant to be inseparable. Remember how the world seemed to fit together like there was no need for you to go on any longer, not without your desires, held in your hands and then their hands, mending you, but really just mending each other.

Such palms of such content people.
Nothing could make this any better.

But who knew nothing was all you’d be left with.

 

The worst of surprises are people.

-Toto

Cherishing ‚ÄĒ A Chat.

I’ve been meaning to write a straight-forward-ish post for a really long time now. As you might’ve noticed, there’s been a surge in the poetry category here at ToW. Truth is, for me, it is much easier to convey¬†things in writing, behind a shroud of vagueness that comes with poetry. I don’t even know if that’s how poetry should be? I mean it ought to make things clearer, right? ANYWAY.

But yeah. The newest thing so far is: school. 
As I’ve mentioned in my previous post(s), some time back in November 2014, I moved to a different city. And now I’ve finally¬†started school here i.e. I’m the “new kid”…it’s not that bad,¬†to be honest. ūüėõ

ANYWAY#2, I wouldn’t like to bore you with mundane school related talk so¬†let’s move on..

You know, It’s difficult not to¬†miss¬†what you’re no longer part of.¬†Being a stranger to your surroundings is no doubt, intimidating and nerve-wreaking and can be¬†really, really upsetting.¬†But hey, we all (or at least most of us..) know those hardships¬†pretty well. What we¬†don’t so much notice or appreciate is how all things familiar, were once, not.¬†Like¬†somehow:
time twists and turns and poof!
Comfort comes.

You can’t map this change on paper or even explain it as well as you can thoroughly¬†feel it.

Such an incredible phenomenon is incredibly human.

It reminds us that we are not¬†confined to¬†being a¬†single¬†puzzle’s lonesome piece. Sure, certain people elevate us in terms of feeling content or better, but the¬†lack of this elevation doesn’t¬†mean you forget that you’re still standing.

And that alone, is worth cherishing.


-Toto

Desires.

this is what we have come to;
present but wanting to
want 
what has been long gone.
we are wishers of lost things
and every day is our way

to lose more, so to
go on, wanting.

-Toto